Life of The Beloved

A Summary of Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen

Because we have so much self doubt, we tend to reject ourselves and question our self worth. In other words, we do not love ourselves. This causes us to reject others and not fully love others.  So, how do we accept God’s invitation to love ourselves and believe we have self worth?

If God can accept us and love us as we are (some people call this Grace), then we should accept ourselves and love ourselves. But how do we do this? We cannot just snap our fingers and presto, we feel beloved. Henri Nouwen gives us a practical guide to achieving self acceptance and living a life fully demonstrating that we are beloved by God and that we have inherent self worth. In other words, he shows us how to become the beloved. He does this by using the metaphor of Eucharist. Like the bread at the table, we are taken, blessed, broken and given.

We are “Taken” – we can also use the word chosen.  We have been chosen by God as one of his beloved.  How do we go from being chosen to “living a life of being chosen?” First, we must recognize the world for what it is – manipulative, controlling, power hungry and destructive. The world is intent on telling you many lies about who you are because it needs you to feel insecure and rejected so that you look to it for self-worth. Second, surround yourself with people who speak the truth – that you are precious in God’s eyes. Third, choose to be grateful instead of bitter.  When an event turns out well, give thanks instead of being critical or skeptical. When things do not turn out well, learn from the experience instead of playing the victim.

We are “Blessed” – how do we affirm that we are blessed? We claim our blessing through prayer and being present. Through listening during prayer, you will slow down and eliminate the distractions of the world, thus cultivating a place of inner peace and feeling blessed. Through cultivating being present in the moment, you will slow down and fully recognize the blessings in your life including the value of others. You will see more of God in others and of feeling blessed. (Many, many books have been written recently of being “in the moment”).

We are “Broken” – we are broken people. Once we accept this as a part of who we are, it no longer defines us. The paradox is that the more we accept it, the easier it is to offer it up to God and to use it as a gateway to God and to our fellow man. We are at peace with it and we no longer feel the shame that leads us to self-rejection. This brokenness is the core of what makes us human and what makes us children of God. It also allows us to fully accept the brokenness of others and to not judge harshly. It is also very important to recognize that we are all broken differently, but also the same.

We are “Given” – we are here to serve. Our greatest fulfillment lies in giving ourselves to others. As beloved ones, we become bread for the world. We are prepared to do this by being chosen, being blessed and then broken. True joy in life comes from giving. We ultimately live towards death as the culmination of our desire to make ourselves a gift for others, thereby creating “the good death”.

Once we come to understand that we were “sent” to this world as a beloved child of God, we realize that our time on earth is brief. We are in the world, but not of the world. We no longer look to the world as a source of fulfillment, but as an opportunity to give. With that understanding of our chronology, we no longer fear death. And when we no longer fear death, we can be taken, blessed, broken and given in death, as in life.  Our legacy on earth are the mustard seeds we plant with each and every child of God we come into contact with. That is living “the good life and dying the good death.”  Once we understand these truths, how can we not love ourselves as God loves us? How can we not then love others more fully!