A Life Well Lived – Dr. T.C. Dickerson, III (1936 – 2026)

My wonderful father-in-law T.C. passed away last night. He was 89 years old.  The truth be told, I never expected my father-in-law to live to 89.  He did not exercise regularly.  He was not fond of vegetables. And early on, he was a smoker. When I started dating his daughter Elizabeth while in high school, I can remember that one of the things I loved about visiting the Dickerson’s home was the aroma of sweet tobacco coming from T.C.’s pipe.  I was kind of sad when he gave up his pipe. He did so when grandchildren came, knowing that if he kept smoking, he might not see them graduate from high school. T.C. was a hot dog man. He also loved peanut M&Ms.  He would grab a handful, throw them in his mouth, tuck the bunch into the side of his cheek forming a pouch, and begin munching on them like a chipmunk. But most of all, he loved his bourbon whiskey. So, you can understand why I was a little surprised that he and his wife Sarah have lived such a long life.

Born on November 7^th, 1936, in Newport News, Virginia, T.C., grew up in the shadow of the Shipbuilding industry, where his father was the chief statistician for the Newport News Shipbuilding and Drydock Company. As a result, T.C. would have a lifelong fascination with ships and shipbuilding. He admitted that while growing up, he wanted to be a crane operator. His other lifelong fascination was Mickey Mouse. I can remember being in New York City once with Elizabeth and being excited to visit the Disney Store so that we could pick up a Mickey souvenir for T.C.

T.C. not only lived a long life, but he also lived a life well lived. Here is what T.C. got right.  And he got it right much better than most of us. He had a loving and supportive marriage, two children who (because of him) are “salt of the earth” people who always had his back, loving grandsons and greatgrandchildren, good friends, and most of all, a very loving and supportive community.  T.C. would create that supportive community around him everywhere he went. And this included Westminster-Canterbury of the Blue Ridge, a senior living community in Charlottesville, Virginia. They moved there when they were relatively young – they were in their early 70’s.  Most people do not move into a senior living community until close to 80 years old.

After they had been there for about three years, I asked them out to lunch. They insisted that we lunch at the community’s main dining room overlooking the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. I wanted to have lunch with them find out the answers to two very important questions. “What do you like most about living here and what do you like least about living here.” Sarah looked at T.C. and after a long pause said, “What we like most about living here are the many friends we have made. That has been very nice. What we like least about living here is losing those same friends each year. But we would have it no other way. We love being in this community…”

When T.C.’s grandson Davis married Bridget in 2017, T.C. was so ill that he could not stay long at the reception. He was on oxygen at the time. And when his grandson Jack married Olivia the following year, he was too sick to even attend the wedding. But he rebounded, got off oxygen, and lived a modestly robust and good life until the past month or so. I truly believe that he rebounded because of the community that he was a part of and that held him in its bosom. But he helped create that community by investing in relationships.  And these relationships went deeper than his fellow residents at Westminster-Canterbury. It also included the staff.  One thing that became apparent to me every time I visited Westminster-Canterbury was how much the staff loved and respected T.C. and how much he loved and respected them. It was genuine.

When T.C. passed away last night, the two staff who were there with Sarah called the other nurses and staff who had cared for and knew T.C. to let them know what had happened.  Thankfully, T.C.’s son Jim and his daughter-in-law Karen were close enough to be there last night with Sarah. Jim recounts what happened next. Staff not working took time out of their lives and drove from far away as Hanover, Buckingham and Augusta counties to be there.  Jim said that when they arrived, they shared stories about T.C. and laughed. He said he could feel the love and warmth in the room. Jim said he will never forget that.

Two traits that T.C. exemplified, maybe more than anyone else I have ever met are integrity and treating all people with respect and dignity. Because of these traits, T.C. became one of the Angels in my life. Having grown up with no male role model as a father, T.C. became a father role model for me without ever acting as if he was my father. I saw how he fathered his own son and daughter and how they have become such amazing and good people. They say we can honor those that came before us through memory, gratitude, and legacy, honoring their lives by telling their stories, living out the values they taught us, and carrying their work forward.  One thing I can honestly say about my wife Elizabeth and her wonderful brother Jim is that they have tremendous integrity and they also treat all people with respect and dignity. That is T.C.’s legacy.  He has raised two people who make the world a better place to live. And quite honestly, if each of us could do that, that is all the legacy we need. And that is also one of the reasons I am passionate about the Louisa Education Foundation.  It is one way to carry T.C.’s work as an educator forward.

A man of few words, T.C. epitomized the Southern Gentleman. If I could think of one fictional character that reminds me of T.C. it would be Atticus Finch from the novel “To Kill a Mockingbird.” You could always count on T.C. doing the right thing no matter the personal sacrifice or cost.  This is real. His integrity – standing up for what is right cost him his job once. That ordeal was especially difficult for Sarah and my wife Elizabeth. T.C. somehow took it in stride.

And treating everyone the same – I personally experienced that.  Sarah and T.C. are members of the Jamestown Society and come from families that sent their children to private schools. Elizabeth attended St. Anne’s-Belfield in Charlottesville during elementary school and was sent to St. Margaret’s for Boarding School during the eighth grade before entering Louisa County Public Schools as a ninth grader. That is where she and I met.  

Without going into the details of my own life, let’s just say I was a kid from the other side of the tracks. When I started dating Elizabeth, T.C. treated me as if I deserved to date his daughter. How many people would let their only daughter do that? That is a lot of grace. Not once did I ever feel like T.C. treated me “less than” because of my station in life. And I am certain that everyone who encountered him felt the same way. And all of us are grateful for that. It was his gift.

T.C. was very patient and fair, but he also believed in taking responsibility for your actions. This was made evident to me while I was a sophomore in college and Elizabeth was a senior in high school.  I was Elizabeth’s date for Homecoming that year.  Unfortunately, it became obvious that Elizabeth Dickerson, one of the Homecoming Princesses, was “extremely tipsy” during the dance. Because T.C. had connections in the school system, he found out quickly.  The next afternoon T.C. sat both of us down and gave the two of us a lecture. It was awful.  Elizabeth’s punishment was to spend time with a shut-in older lady and to read the short story “A Man Without a Country”, which is about a man tried for treason and sentenced to spend the rest of his life as a prisoner on a ship. T.C. was very intentional that the consequences should reflect the misbehavior.

T.C. was a voracious reader, especially non-fiction.  He especially loved history and biographies. And he loved discussing books that he had read. He loved doing so, especially with his grandsons Davis, Jack and Carter. Sometimes, if he was not sure about something or disagreed with you, he would attempt to find a particular book with a particular passage to make his point.  And many times, he would find it!  Learning and education were several of his core passions. In addition, another of T.C.’s passions was serving young people. An Eagle Scout, he became very active as an adult in the Boy Scouts, even holding leadership positions in the organization. In recognition of his years of service to that organization, he was given the Silver Beaver Award, the Boy Scouts’ highest honor for adult leaders.

And following that true passion is why T.C. and Sarah ended up sending their son and daughter to Louisa County Public Schools. And it goes back to his sense of integrity. T.C. had a sort of early mid-life crisis with respect to his career after realizing that his chosen profession lacked a sense of purpose. So, after nine years he left his job as senior underwriter at State Farm Insurance in Charlottesville and went back to school at the University of Virginia to get a master’s degree in education.  

I think it was while serving as Scout Master in Charlottesville that T.C. realized that his calling in life was education. So, he became an educator. And he loved it. One of his first jobs as an educator was as principal for six years at Louisa Elementary School in the town of Louisa.  T.C. would eventually earn a PhD in education and become an Assistant Superintendent of Schools in the Louisa County School System.  His wife Sarah would end up teaching history at Louisa County High School. She even taught my brother James. And going back to his moral compass, T.C. did not feel it appropriate to be working in the Louisa County Public School System in a leadership position and not enroll his children in that same system. So, that is why Elizabeth ended up at Louisa County High School as a ninth grader.

Later in his career T.C. would take the job of Lancaster County superintendent of schools. When he was interviewed in 1992 after taking that job, he was quoted as saying, “I found that insurance just wasn’t my thing, and decided that life was too short not to do what you’re comfortable with.” He went on to say, “…business management and youth were the two things that I either knew something about or cared about.  The career area where those two interests came together was in education. So, I enrolled at the University of Virginia with the sole intention of becoming an elementary school principal.”  When asked about his approach to education he responded that, “my teaching method was really an outgrowth of my Boy Scout Methods, which might be labelled ‘guided discovery.’” I like that.

To demonstrate how much his children loved and respected T.C., and wanting to please him, I can remember what we did while on vacation in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 1993, shortly after he took that job in Lancaster County. While in New Mexico Elizabeth insisted that we visit Philmont Scout Ranch.  Philmont is where every Boy Scout visits as an Eagle Scout.  The fact that the camp was two-and-a-half hours from Santa Fe did not deter Elizabeth.  She kept insisting that if we are this close to Philmont and we do not visit the camp her dad would be very disappointed.  So, I dutifully drove to Philmont, walked around a bit, took a few photos, and left. I am glad we did.  T.C. was so happy that we have made the effort to visit a place that was special and important to him.  

So, because T.C. always did what he thought was right including sending his daughter to Louisa County High School, I had the opportunity to meet his daughter.  And because he always treated everyone with respect and dignity, I felt welcomed and loved and eventually learned what he already knew – that I did deserve to date his daughter.  

T.C. was a devoted son, a loving and patient husband, a steady and understanding father, a joyful grandfather and great-grandfather, and the best father-in-law. He attended church regularly for most of his life and lived a life that I believe would have received two thumbs up from Jesus. He loved everything that had to do with Scotland – except golf. As with his son Jim, he was active with the Scouts and with the Masons. He loved fishing, especially trout fishing. He loved taking his grandchildren fishing when he lived in the mountains of Highland County. And he loved the water – being near the water and on the water. I think that came from his childhood living near the shipyards of Newport News. For many years he and his family would vacation at Hilton Head. And he loved his pontoon boat – we still have it. It will always be known as T.C.’s boat.

In addition to being a man of few words, T.C. was also a man of simple tastes. And being of Scotch heritage, which he was very proud of, he also did not like spending money.  And one thing was for sure, he did not like being the center of attention. However, there was one exception to that – he did not mind being the center of attention when his great-grandchildren James and Liza Jean came around to visit. So, T.C. we are going to honor you with a farewell consisting of a simple and humble liturgical service with no spoken eulogies.

T.C., I love you and owe you so much.  Until we meet again…