Postscript to 10.30.26 Letter to James

Postscript 10.31.26

James,

In my last letter to you, I described how you reacted to losing your first tooth.  You went through a sudden change.  And I described how it takes time to adapt to change, and that you would eventually do so.  And in doing so, you would get used to it until it seemed normal. This is what we call “normalizing.”  But here is the thing that I did not explain in my letter to you.  It is not normal to have a missing tooth that creates a gap in your front teeth. If it were normal, most people would have a missing front tooth. And you instinctively knew this. And this got me to thinking – your lost tooth is a metaphor for what we, as a society, are going through right now.

Normalizing can sometimes mean treating something as normal or acceptable when it is not. Because our current political leadership is normalizing bad behavior, as a society we have lost common courtesy. Like your missing tooth, this does not feel right.  However, the rise in selfish behavior and pure individualism, and the loss of decency, courtesy, and grace to each other has been normalized. Even though it does not feel right, people are accepting it and even expecting it, just like accepting a missing front tooth.

When you lost your tooth, we were able to reassure you by explaining that a new adult tooth would grow in its place. And that this new tooth would be bigger and stronger and would last you for the rest of your life.  It would never fall out. But it would take some time to grow.  So, you would have to be patient. You accepted this explanation, on faith.

And here is my hope. A friend recently gave me the same reassurance regarding our current societal situation. He said that people will realize that like having a missing front tooth is not good, operating in a society that is missing common courtesy is not good. And that having experienced living without common courtesy, we will replace what we lost with an even better moral code of treating each other with courtesy, respect and grace. And that this new moral code will be even stronger than what we had before. I hope my friend is right. And based on the general trajectory of human history, I have faith that he is right. As the old saying goes, you sometimes take certain “things” for granted and do not appreciate them until they are gone.  James, I leave you with the following thought. When you do experience common courtesy, respect and grace from another, hold unto those moments like its heaven passing through.

With Love,

Papa J