The Perfect Gift – Christmas 2022
Dear James,
“In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree….” This story from the book of Luke is read to us every Christmas and most of us now know it by heart. But do we really know how it ends? Or is the end just the beginning? I was listening to a podcast when those questions popped into my head.
The purpose of this specific podcast was to educate the listener on how to give the perfect gift. And it starts with reminding us that “gift giving is as old as humanity – to express love, offer admiration and obtain favors.” So, if gift giving is so important, why do so many of us get it wrong, especially at Christmas. The podcast offers the following explanation, “As gift givers, we are focused on the wrong things.” James, to help you become a good gift giver, I will share some secrets to what creates a perfect gift.
First, focus on what the recipient will experience during the ownership of the gift instead of the moment of exchange. Wow does not have to come when the gift is given but should come when it is used.
Second, focus on what the recipient really needs or wants instead of putting too much emphasis on the “surprise factor.” This even includes how the gift is presented – the need to use beautiful wrapping paper instead of plain brown paper.
Third, do not worry so much on being perceived as a creative gift giver. We want to be seen as creative gift givers because as gift givers, we perceive gift giving as a signal of who we are, even at the expense of the recipient. Giving the same gift repeatedly, even if it is exactly what the recipient needs or wants, is seen as mundane. However, some of the best gifts are ones that are given repeatedly, especially if it is something that the recipient really likes. Some of my most cherished gifts are ones that are given to me each year including subscriptions to my favorite magazines, a gift certificate to my favorite restaurant, or even a round of golf with a friend.
Fourth, do not focus on how much the gift costs. We mistakenly believe that the more expensive the gift, the better the gift. We do this either to seek status or to avoid perceived risk. For example, sentimental gifts are not expensive, but they are seen as risky. So, even though it has been proven that such gifts are loved by recipients, gift givers are weary to give such gifts because they may be seen as cheap. However, sentimental gifts such as photos are really loved by recipients. In fact, one of my favorite gifts this year was from your uncle Carter, who gave me a photo from our trip to England this year. The photo captured the so much and I will cherish it forever, knowing that each time I look at it, a surge of joy with course through my soul. It comes close to being the perfect gift. However, such gifts do take thought, time, and effort to create.
Fifth, give gifts that are consumable or experiential instead of material things. Although you now prefer toys, as you get older you too will prefer experiences because it brings people together. As I Corinthians states “When I was a child, I talked liked a child, I thought liked a child, I reasoned like a child: when I became a man, I did away with childish things.”
Sixth, do not be afraid to give spontaneous gifts. Sometimes, the best gifts are those that are unexpected. Because there is no expectation, spontaneous gifts can give greater joy. Spontaneous gifts are also a great way to foster relationships and create connection. So, the impulse of generosity – giving a gift now can be one of the best gifts you can give.
Finally, great gift givers listen. And they do so all the time. By doing so, they see the world from the perspective of the recipient – they learn what the other person really likes, what their passions are, and what truly brings them joy. So, James, become a great listener.
This brings me back to the bible and the perfect gift. Jesus was the perfect gift to humanity. He is the gift of hope and is the light in a world of darkness. The gift of Jesus to the world and its impact has been far greater after the gift was given than at the time it was given. The gift giver focused on what the recipients needed without putting emphasis on the “surprise factor.” There was no earth-shattering moment to the world that announced this gift. The gift giver was not concerned about being perceived as creative. In fact, this gift was given in humble circumstances – just a man dying on a hilltop on a cross, which, at the time, was one of the most humiliating ways to die. So, the gift was not wrapped up in fancy paper – far from it.
The gift of Christ was and remains an experiential gift, and brings us together, with Christ, but just as importantly, with each other. I would also argue that it was spontaneous. The world was not expecting this gift, but it was given anyway. This is one of the things that makes this gift so perfect. It is given with no strings attached – through grace alone. And it is given to us over and over, so much so that some would argue that is has become ubiquitous and mundane. But if we sit down and think about it, some of the things we cherish the most have become ubiquitous and mundane. And I am reminded of this every Christmas.
God was and is the ultimate great listener. Although humanity seems to seek darkness, we ultimately seek good over evil. And we needed a way to do so – the way. Tom Holland in his book “Dominion” asserts that the Christian revolution remade the world by making human rights ubiquitous. So, God listened and gave us a special gift that showed us the way. And it continues to give.
The cost – well, only God really knows the answer to that one.
Happy Christmas James,
Papa Johnny
