Thanksgiving Revisited

James – Your First Thanksgiving, 11.26.20

It is Thanksgiving week, and yesterday, your grandmother Lizzy and I watched a video that contained a “Thanksgiving Message” from an industry colleague and friend. In her message, she shared some recent challenges faced by a close friend. She talked about grief, but also about gratitude. Her poignant message spurred me to revisit the meaning of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is a uniquely American tradition which we, as a country, began to formally celebrate as a National holiday in 1863, during the midst of the American Civil War, when President Lincoln proclaimed a national Thanksgiving Day to be held each November. But how did this tradition begin and when was the first Thanksgiving in America?

James, you were born in Massachusetts, which is acknowledged as the birthplace of Thanksgiving. We all know the story – 50 pilgrims who survived the previous winter and members of the Wampanoag tribe get together for a three-day feast in November of 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusetts to give thanks for a bountiful harvest.  However, what most people do not know is that the first Thanksgiving actually occurred two years earlier on December 4^th, 1619 along the James River in Virginia on the Berkley 100, now known as the Berkeley Plantation. In 1618 in London England, the Berkeley Company was given a grant for 8,000 acres in Virginia to start a settlement. Before the ship ‘Margaret’ left England, the Berkeley Company gave the settlers a list of 10 instructions, which included that upon arrival to give thanks for their safe voyage and to say a thankful prayer every year. So, when the settlers landed, they began to give thanks for a safe arrival to the Almighty God.  This Thanksgiving was strictly religious and did not include a feast. But it was the first English Thanksgiving in the New World.

President Kennedy, who is from Massachusetts, acknowledged this oversight on November 5, 1963 with the following proclamation, “Over three centuries ago, our forefathers in Virginia and Massachusetts, far from home, in a lonely wilderness set aside a time of Thanksgiving. They gave thanks for their safety, the health of their children, the fertility of their fields, for the love which bound them together, and for the faith which united them with their God.”

James, I wanted you to know this because your grandmother Lizzy’s ancestors, the Harrisons, who were signers of the Declaration of Independence, owned the Berkeley Plantation for many years. And two of the Harrisons, William Henry Harrison (1841) and Benjamin Harrison (1889-1893), became presidents of the United States. So, you have a very personal connection to the first Thanksgiving in America.  

Almost 170 years after the events at Berkeley and Plymouth, George Washington in 1789 issued the first Thanksgiving proclamation by the national government of the United States so that Americans could express their gratitude for the happy conclusion to the country’s war of independence and the successful ratification of the U.S. Constitution. John Adams and James Madison would also designate days of thanks during their presidencies. 

But it would take the efforts of a woman to make Thanksgiving a national holiday.  In 1827, writer Sarah Josepha Hale, who wrote the nursery rhyme “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” launched a campaign to establish Thanksgiving as a national holiday. For 36 years, she published editorials and sent numerous letters to politicians advocating for a National Thanksgiving Holiday, earning her the nickname the “Mother of Thanksgiving.” Her efforts finally paid off in 1863 with President Lincoln’s proclamation.  

So, what did the settlers at Berkeley and Plymouth, the colonists of our new republic, and the people of a divided United States in 1863 all have in common? They all went through or were going through various trials and tribulations. We could say they went through a “wilderness of grief”.  The pilgrims, during the winter of 1620, lost half of their numbers to malnutrition and disease. The Berkeley settlement did not go unscathed, losing nine colonists during the Indian massacre of 1622.  And the 13 colonies suffered greatly during the Revolutionary War. Before George Washington’s proclamation in 1789, 1 in 20 able bodied white males had died, with another 25,000 men and boys maimed or wounded.  And even worse, more than 620,000 men would die during the American Civil War, roughly two percent of the entire population at the time. Yes, they all shared a collective grief.

And the grief was not limited to mourning the loss of loved ones. There was also grief due to disagreement. During that first winter in 1620 off the shores of Massachusetts, chaos ensued, leading to factions, even within families. During the Revolutionary War, only 45% of colonists fully supported the cause. This led to bitter disagreements between friends and even family members, with one of the most heartbreaking estrangements occurring between Benjamin Franklin and his son William, who remained a loyalist until he died. And we all know too well that the American Civil war led to “Brother fighting Brother.” So, embedded in our National Holiday, often times forgotten, is the theme of journeying through a wilderness of grief to embrace gratitude. That feeling of thankfulness and gratitude came at a heavy price during each of those moments in our country’s history. However, much good came of it.

The settlers at Berkeley and Plymouth helped established the states of Virginia and Massachusetts, arguably the two most influential colonies advocating for a new republic and democracy.  And James, you will always be connected to those two great commonwealths. 

Although costly, the American Revolution lead to one of the greatest democracies in the history of human existence. And the American Civil War, which was even more costly and divisive than the American Revolution, ended slavery in the United States.  Slavery had to end in our country so that the following words “All men are created equal” could be truly believed and lived out in our republic.  And yes, we are still on a journey to making those words a true reality. But let us not forget how far we have come. So, each of those collective journeys have led to a furthering of the American ideal of liberty and justice for all. So, we have much to be thankful for.

James, you were born in 2020, the year of Pandemic, Protests and Politics. The Pandemic of 2020 has amplified the issues that divide our country. As a result, like previous times, we may be going through a period of collective grief due to loss and disagreement.

However, this period of grief, like those before it, may lead to good. I now believe that journeying through the wilderness of grief can paradoxically get one to the promised land of gratitude. However, one needs a certain compass to get there. And that compass may include the following traits, which have been identified as traits of our greatest presidents. They are recognizing reality, demonstrating empathy, exhibiting creativity and possessing perseverance. And James, when you experience the wilderness of grief in times of your life, which I guarantee you will, I believe that your parents will gift you the compass you require to navigate to the promised land of gratitude.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. As Scott Peck says in the opening lines in the book The Road Less Travelled, “Life if difficult… It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult.” This to me is the meaning of Thanksgiving. And now I know why it has always been my favorite holiday.

To be truly thankful and to experience gratitude, one must fully accept that life is difficult. And to do so, one must experience the trials and tribulations that accompany a journey of grief. And this journey, if one has the proper compass, will lead to gratitude, which ultimately leads to true joy.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Papa Johnny