November 25, 2022 – Black Friday – Ten Years Later
Dear James,
It is Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. Although there are conflicting theories on why this day is called Black Friday, most people do agree that it started in the 1980s when someone decided that this day was the official start of the Christmas shopping season. And because it was such a big shopping day, someone also decided that most merchants do not turn a profit for the year until this day, officially putting them in “the black”, which means making a profit, versus being in “the red”, which means suffering a financial loss. And so, the term “Black Friday” was born. And since then, for some people, Black Friday has become its own holiday.
Black Friday is a very personal reminder of how commercialized our holidays have become. Let me explain. Ten years ago, just before Thanksgiving, your great-grandmother passed away after a long battle with lung cancer. Most of the family decided that the funeral should be held the Friday after Thanksgiving. The lone holdout was your great aunt Paula. Her rationale was that she always took that day off because it was the biggest shopping day of the year! And that could not be interrupted for any reason. So, we held our mom’s funeral on Saturday, November 24th, 2012.
This is funny because our mom, your great grandmother, was not even a shopper. In fact, she rarely bought anything for herself. She was, you might say, the anti-shopper! So, I now use Black Friday as a day to remember mom by not shopping. Instead, I use this day after Thanksgiving – this day of peace and quiet – to focus on the one thing that was most important to her – family.
James, as you get older you will hear stories about your great grandmother. I will make sure of that. Like all of us, she was far from perfect. But she was selfless, and she was kind in a world that had been mostly unkind to her. Although she could not keep most of her own children from repeating the cycle that disrupted her own life, she tried her best. And that is all we can ask of anyone.
Your great-grandmother loved her children with all her heart. And her unconditional love helped me navigate some tough times early in my own life. Belief and faith are very powerful. And putting faith and love into another to help create self-affirmation in another is the greatest gift anyone can give. The now famous National Geographic “Blue Zone Study” found that grandparents can be a huge influence in helping their grandchildren lead long and healthy lives. The lead scientist in the study believes that grandparents help build self-confidence and self-affirmation. As your grandparents, your Gizzy and your Papa J will do our best to help affirm you. Because without that, how can we expect you to go out in the world and affirm others?
With much love,
Papa J
Jack, Davis and Carter with “Grizzy” just before your great-grandmother Nana’s funeral 10 years ago.
