January with James 1.28.21

James,

After Christmas, your grandmother “Gizzy” and I travelled to Boston on New Year’s Day to spend January with you and your parents. I departed after 17 days, but your grandmother is staying for the entire month to help out. During the interim, your uncles Jack and Carter and your aunt Olivia drove up to Boston from Virginia to spend a week with you. All of us will cherish the time spent with you and your parents during this month.

During the more than two weeks I was there, we fell into a comfortable routine.  I would leave the B&B in Brookline where I was staying, get coffee (and bagels some days), walk the three blocks to the apartment, and play with you and help out with a project. I would then head back to my room at the B&B where I had my office set up and work. Most days, I would take a break and either walk or run with Odin in the afternoon.  I would then return to my “office” and work some more before heading back over to have a wonder dinner that grandma Gizzy had made.  After some time together as a family, I would head back over to my B&B for the night. Some days, when it was especially beautiful, Gizzy and I would take you and Odin for a long walk.  You loved walks.  You would stare up and try to capture everything you could with your gaze. You would eventually fall asleep to the vibration of the stroller and sounds of your grandparents talking.

When I got back to our wonderful Lake House, I realized that what makes a home is not a house.  It is the people who live in the space that make a home. The small apartment that we shared with you and your parents during this past month felt so much like a warm and loving home.  I really missed it when I returned to Virginia to our “house.” So, I cannot wait for your grandmother to return so I will be “home” again.

I have done a lot of research, thinking, speaking and writing on the subject of social connection during the past year. I have read books, poured through studies, and talked to experts in this field. So, I have learned much during this past year, and my time in Boston has only reinforced what I have learned. There are three important components to social connection: family, friends and community.  As you get older, I will make sure you understand each of these so that you will be much wiser than I ever was.

Speaking of family, while Carter, Jack and Olivia were visiting you in Boston, your grandmother sent me photos.  Several photos were taken of your godfather Carter holding you for the first time. I was not there, but those photos conveyed pure joy as he held you.  And it made me so proud and so happy that he loved on you so completely during that moment. You see James, he loved you before he met you. And like the rest of us, now that he has held you, fed you, and played with you, he has a relationship with you, and that is very special to each of us.  So, I cannot wait to visit this place called Boston again.

I loved Boston before because of its small city charm, its history, and because it is home to the Boston Celtics, my favorite NBA team while growing up. However, I love Boston now more than ever because it is your place of birth. And it is where I spent most of January in 2021 and it will be the place where I will spend most of my time with you in the coming years.

When we talk about a sense of “place”, what we really mean are the people associated with that place, just like home.  And those people are everything.