James at six weeks

James,

Today, Sunday, November 1^st, you are exactly six weeks old.  And in your grandparents’ minds that is an important milestone. And here is the reason. When your dad was the same age, I was scheduled to attend my good friend Sam’s bachelor party in Washington D.C.  Sam was the best man in our own wedding, and he happens to be your uncle Jack’s Godfather. So, he really wanted me to be there. However, that afternoon before I left, your dad appeared very lethargic. So, as a precaution, I gave your grandmother Lizzy a phone number where she could reach me. 

Later that evening your grandmother called me to tell me that she was at the emergency room and they were about to do a spinal tap on your dad.  Because Davis’ temperature had spiked so quickly, they thought he might have spinal meningitis, which is very serious. And the only way to determine if your dad had it was to perform a spinal tap, which was a very risky procedure, especially on a six-week old baby.

I jumped into my car and sped down interstate 95 back to Richmond. And because we did not have cell phones, I drove 75 minutes (it usually takes 90 minutes) in the dark, alone with my thoughts, worried that your grandmother and I would lose your dad after only six weeks.  I cried. I prayed. I prayed that whoever was performing the procedure would have steady hands.  I prayed that Davis did not have spinal meningitis.  And I begged God to make Davis strong, so that he would survive this illness. 

When I arrived at the Hospital, the procedure had been performed and we waited for the results. Your dad ended up not having spinal meningitis, but he had to stay in the hospital for three more days until the fever subsided. The doctors never figured out what he had contracted, but he survived.  The image of your father, our first-born son, so small and pale, laying in the hospital bed, appearing so vulnerable with so many tubes around him, is seared into my memory. And I remember thinking that I would do anything to save him.

I have read and have been told that we do not understand unconditional love until we have a child. Your parents, Bridget and Davis, now know what unconditional love feels like. I see it in them when they hold you, feed you, change your diaper, and just look at you.  It is an amazing gift. Your great-grandmother, Minnie Pearl Hairfield Franklin, gave me that gift.  And that gift of unconditional love fed and fortified me during tough periods of my life.  James, it will feed you.  Never forget that your parents always love you, no matter what happens. Cheris that gift. Not everyone receives it. There will be points in your life where it will be your lifeline. Hold onto it always.  

With much love, Papa Johnny