James 11.25.21 – A Weekend in NYC
James,
I write this to you on Thanksgiving after spending the past weekend in NYC with Carter. Our conversations and time together made me appreciate your Godfather’s sensitivity and introspection even more. At six foot five, your uncle is indeed a gentle giant. And he is going to be such a great godfather to you.
During our time in the city, we “urban hiked” over 30 miles. When we got to New York, we spent most of Thursday afternoon strolling through Greenwich Village and Tribeca. This is where your Godfather spent a lot of time while attending NYU. We then walked over the Williamsburg Bridge into Brooklyn, took the subway back to Manhattan for dinner, and saw the revival musical “Company.”
The next day, we visited the Van Gogh Immersion Experience, the Irish Hunger Memorial in Battery Park, and hiked downtown and back up through Tribeca and SOHO to mid-town. We then headed back to Brooklyn, where we visited Fort Greene Park, enjoyed a fabulous Mediterranean meal, and attended an NBA game.
On Saturday morning we had breakfast with Cabell in the West Village. Afterwards, the three of us walked the “High Line”. I had not seen my niece Cabell in years. And there is a story there that I will share with you one day. Like your uncle Carter, Cabell is a very kind and intelligent person given to introspection. And realized quickly that they both like to discuss all forms of art.
Later that day, we visited your uncle’s favorite museum, the Metropolitan. Afterwards, friends whom I have hiked with in Europe treated us to a wonderful meal at a small Italian restaurant on the upper East Side.
However, the highlight of the trip for me was Saturday afternoon watching Jeff Daniels play the role of Atticus Finch in a new play adaptation of “To Kill a Mockingbird”. Having read the book and seen the movie several times, this play was more gritty and powerful than both. Known for his memorable lines and fast-paced dialogue, the play we saw in NYC may be Aaron Sorkin’s best work ever.
Two lines from the play really stuck with me. “Mobs are where people go to hide their conscience.” This line is spoken after a scene in which Scout recognizes one of the members of a lynching mob and approaches him. In short order the man breaks down and forces the rest of the mob to abandon their deadly deed. I have heard many times that it is hard to hate somebody once you look them in the eye and get to know them.
Unfortunately, mobs can reappear in other forms. And this one reappeared as 12 men on a jury. Despite clear evidence to the contrary, to protect one of their own, they find an innocent man guilty of a crime he did not commit. And when groups allow people to hide their conscience through means of affirmation that include gossip, slanted social media, and biased news information, willful ignorance will occur. These are all various forms of mobs where people can hide their conscience and decide not to do what is right.
James, you will find as you grow older that the need to belong and belonging to a tribe is a powerful emotion. Brene Brown, one of my favorite contemporary writers explains the powerful “need to belong” in many of her books. And years ago, your dad recommended that I read “The Righteous Mind” by Jonathan Haidt. A respected moral psychologist, Haidt explains why we are willing to ignore our conscience by hiding it under a blanket of willful ignorance. We will do so to protect “our tribe.” And the tribe we identify with can include family, friends, community, church, religion, a team, a country, a social class, and even a race. And like people, our tribes are not always right. It happens. And when that does happen, we need to be diligent and not hide our conscience.
James, it is a matter of time before you will either be part of a tribe that is trying to wrongfully hurt someone, or you will be the target of a tribe trying to wrongfully hurt you. Both have happened to me and have happened to your mom and dad.
Later in the play Scout says, “Maybe just trying to do the right thing is enough.” James, just do your best. And sometimes, even that may not be enough. And when that happens, do not be too hard on yourself. As Carter told me afterwards as we walked through Central Park on that beautiful autumn afternoon, the process of trying to do the right thing is all that God asks us to do. We are human and we will fail. But trying is noble and it is good. No matter what anyone else says or does to discredit the trying. Even if it is your own tribe.
Yes, NYC was a lot of fun and I almost always come home exhausted. However, I do not have much time to recover because your grandma Gizzy and I will be doing some walking with you in Boston next weekend now that YOU are walking! Keep practicing James. One day you and I will walk together in NYC, and many other places beyond……
With much affection,
Papa Johnny
