Earlier this week, I visited my Aunt Mary.  At 86 years old, she is the only one of my mom’s nine siblings who is still alive.  So, other than my own siblings, she is my only living connection to my mom. As we sat talking for two and a half hours, we got around to how we both overcame difficult childhoods.  She would be the only one in her family to graduate from high school – and yes, I said high school. In addition to graduating from high school, she would meet an amazing man, Thomas, who would become her husband and partner.  They would build an amazing life together,…

Today as I took a walk with Emmy, I thought about my mom.  She was born on February 4th, 1943. The 7th of 10 children, she would drop out of school without finishing the eighth grade. Only one of her siblings would finish high school – my aunt Mary, who is also the only one still alive.  Mom passed away on November 19th, 2012, from lung cancer at the age of 69.  She was a lifetime smoker. Today would be her birthday.  And I did something unusual on my walk today.  Being in a reflective mood, I decided to listen to one of my playlists.  I usually prefer to play…

This is my second attempt at this letter. The first draft I took down because it lost its point. This is why I should never publish first drafts of anything I write. Dear James and Liza Jean, Yesterday your dad called and put the two of you on video.  You were both dancing and bouncing up and down on the couch while wearing dancing outfits that included tutus. You were both so full of joy.  I am so grateful that your mom and dad encouraged this and invited your Gizzi and me to be a part of it.  For some reason, it seems more fun when you do this with…

Growing up, I learned very quickly how to save money and to not live beyond my means.  Having to borrow for college and sometimes work as many as three jobs simultaneously while getting my college degree made me a saver.  I took to heart Benjamin Franklin’s adage, “A penny saved is a penny earned.” And so did the woman I married. When we arrived in Chapel Hill after our honeymoon, we started our life together in a very small cinder block apartment on campus.  Money was tight.  If there was a creative cheap recipe with Bisquick, Elizabeth knew it.  I lovingly referred to her my “Bisquick Queen”.  And many of…

I recently started a blog post, that when posted, would be titled “Another Civil War?”  In it I would detail how our current administration, by creating chaos, uncertainty and divisiveness through dangerous rhetoric, propaganda, and intimidation tactics using what can now only be called a paramilitary force could lead to something that might look like a civil war.  I would recall a conversation with one of my European friends before the 2024 election where he would mention a possible civil war if Trump lost, and I rolling my eyes in disbelief.  I am no longer rolling my eyes. In the blog I would recall previous “civil wars” in our country,…

When mom left dad for good during the spring of 1971, we literally fled to Louisa County, Virginia, where I had been born ten years earlier. The year 1971 was a difficult year for me.  And it was a difficult year for our country. The Vietnam War was escalating with U.S. troops invading Cambodia, sparking protests. During one of these protests, National Guard troops kill four students at Kent State University. Race relations were strained, to say the least, with two Black students being killed by police at Jackson State University. And the Attica Prison riot ended in bloodshed.  But not all was bad that year.  The voting age got…

WARNING – DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE ABOUT ANIMALS Events in our lives shape our reality, emotions and moral framework. When the groundhogs invaded our farm several years ago, I had mixed emotions. When a few showed up in our back yard we thought they were harmless and cute. And the AirB&B guests who stayed at the farm enjoyed watching them. But multiple holes began to appear in the yard, the adjoining pasture, and even under the foundation of our farmhouse, creating a safety hazard to cows and guests alike.  So, we made the difficult decision to exterminate them. But as I showed up one morning to check on…

As 2025 fades into our rearview mirror and we look forward with hopeful anticipation to what 2026 will bring, I offer up the following advice. Bring more awe and wonder into your life. Because our grandchildren’s parents were working on New Years Eve, Elizabeth and I were asked to watch our grandchildren yesterday morning. So, we left our house at the lake at 6:30 a.m. to drive to their house an hour away near Charlottesville. As a result, Elizabeth and I had “the opportunity” to spend the morning of New Years Eve alone with our grandchildren, James and Elizabeth.  Looking back, spending time with James and Elizabeth on New Years…

At our annual Christmas dinner with dear friends from our old neighborhood, we eventually get around to giving updates on our children. Our oldest son Davis is a second year head basketball coach at Monticello High School. And I did a little bragging on him in two ways.  First, he led Monticello to its best season ever during his first year as head basketball coach. But secondly, and more important to me is his approach to coaching. And as I told our friends, I am not even sure he would articulate it the way I would. I described it as follows. He is first and foremost a mentor. He is then…

Today, always a Thursday, is a day to treasure.  It is a day to slow down, spend time with family and friends, and to give thanks. But I am not sure we fully embrace this day’s essential meaning. And a note I received today from one of my friends relaying his recent experience visiting some “favelas” in Northern Brazil made me think about this even more. We all know the story of the native Americans and pilgrims sitting down together for the first Thanksgiving meal in a land that would one day become a part of the United States. However, the annual thanksgiving holiday tradition in what would become the…