A New Year’s Day Message, 2022

So, I reckon that a true blogger must post something wonderful and insightful on New Year’s Day.  But that is not why I chose to post today. I do so, not from a sense of obligation, but because I feel called to do so. 

One of Elizabeth’s friends texted earlier this week that the week between Christmas and New Year’s is weird.  Yes, in many ways it is.  It is unique.  We are almost forced to slow down.  I think this is a good thing – at least for me.  I need to slow down more and reflect.  I do not do it enough.  And I my guess is that you don’t either.  And smart phones and technology have made it even harder to disconnect and slow down – so we can do more reflection.

Thankfully, I do yoga.  And that practice, like running, allows me to do some reflection. And this weird week has given that practice more power of reflection. Let me explain.

While doing yoga this morning in the loft as Elizabeth prepared our traditional New Year’s Day dish of black-eye peas and stewed tomatoes with collard greens simmered in onions, celery, and garlic, my reflection brought on a wave of happiness and contentment. This feeling is quite rare and as I was feeling it, I wanted to grab it and not let it go. It was so visceral that I wanted to roll around in it and inhale it.  And I did – in a matter of speaking.

My wife may not know this, but she coos when she cooks.  It brings her so much joy to cook for others – like the main character in the movie “Babette’s Feast”, the academy award winning movie recommended to us by Bernadette Johnson several years ago.  Watch it – pure joy.

While I listened to my wife’s cooing and inhaled the aroma of onions and garlic simmering over the stove, I realized something.  I have a wonderful family and dear friends that I care so much about.  So, as I finished my yoga awash in this glow of happiness and joy, I thought about writing a poem that would beautifully convey these emotions. My mind was spinning with ideas!  Too short I thought. I thought about writing a review of a wonderful movie that Elizabeth and I had watched again yesterday that seemed to incapsulate my thoughts.  But no, not personal enough. Because I have not yet written a letter to James summarizing his wonderful Christmas visit to Virginia, I even thought about writing a letter to James.  As most of you know, my letters to James are written to not only capture a glimpse of his life but to also share what I believe to be little nuggets of wisdom and universal truths.  No, I did not want this to take the form of a letter to James.

Instead, I jettisoned those ideas to write a letter to each of you.  This is it. This is my love letter to my friends.  The inspiration for this originated from the movie “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society”, which Elizabeth and I watched again yesterday.  The movie is based on a novel that was recommended to us by one of our friends.  Elizabeth and I have a different recollection as to who recommended the book to us, but we both agree that we love the book.  So, when the movie came out, we could not wait to watch it.  And I am so glad we chose to watch it again.

The movie moves back and forth between London during post-WWII (1946) and the little island of Guernsey, located off the coast of Normandy in the English Channel, during WWII and German occupation.  While the Germans were there the inhabitants of the island were isolated from each other and were nearly starved to death.  During this time, one of the major characters reflects on an event in Guernsey with the following thought, “We were all hungry. But it was Elizabeth who realized our true starvation – for connection, the company of other people, for fellowship.”  That event leads to the creation of the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, the social glue that holds this group together and helps them through their collective ordeal.

As most of you know, I have studied and written on the importance of social connection to health and happiness. As the movie articulates, all of us need the company of others, human connection, and fellowship.  And the last two years have made that universal truth even more obvious.  As 2020 (the year of the Pandemic, the Press, Protests, and Politics) and 2021 (the year of COVID, Cancellation Culture, Coverings, and Connection Craving) fade in our rearview mirrors, I hope that each of us, even more than ever, focus on what is truly valuable in our lives – our faith, our family, and our friends.  Yes, I do like iterations.

You are our friends. Each of you are a part of my community.  I treasure my relationship with each of you.  I may not always seem like I do, but I do.  A recent conversation with one of my sons made me realize that all of us probably need to be more intentional about maintaining our relationships with friends and family. He said that I sometimes act like I do not really care about him.  I know what I feel.  But I did not know how he felt.  I know that I care about him very deeply and that I love him so very much.  But I also realized that I did not say or show how I felt enough. And even if I did, that does not ensure that what I say translates into the feeling that I want those I love to feel – to feel loved unconditionally.  Sometimes the way we communicate our love translates into “I love you if…”, or “I love you on condition of …. “. 

I love each of you.  It may because of a shared past together or because of shared interests or because of shared faith.  But now that we are friends, I love you because you are my friend.  You are not perfect.  You sometimes do not reach out to me as much as I would like. But to be fair, neither do I. 

My wish for each of you is that you make 2022 a year for Family, Friends, Faith and Fellowship.  And when you look back on 2022, I hope that you can say, “I am so glad that I tried to be purposeful in these areas of my life.  I am a more content and a happier person because of it.”   

I leave you with the follow thought.  Many years ago, a friend from our old neighborhood gave a wooden plaque to Elizabeth with the following phrase, “Friends Are Presents You Give Yourself.”  Be kind to yourself in 2022 and give yourself lots of presents.

Fondly,

John